Monday, September 27, 2010

Cutting Cords and Moving On From Heartache

What are cords?
The sharing of energy among individuals is often called "cording". This cord represents a life supportive tubing which energetically connects two individuals together. Babies are born with a cord attaching them to their mothers, this is natural. Typically the mother or sometimes the child will cut the cord, when it is no longer necessary.

In relationships there are two types of cords which people can get confused. We have higher cords which can never be cleared or broken and are positive. However, we also have emotional cords which these can be cleared as well as any psychic debris attached to them. These are the cords we will be talking about in this blog. People often worry that if a cord is cleared it means it will cause a huge ending, but even in balanced relationships, people can regularly clear their cords to free themselves of psychic emotional debris and this can help their relationships, rather than harms them.
We create cords that attach at different parts of our body. When we interact with others, cords are created between both people, especially when the interaction is emotionally based, or the relationship is long term. You also cord once you are sexually intimate with a person. 
Cords operate regardless of distance and can continue to be active long after a relationship has ended.

When the energy flowing through a cord is positive and balanced a relationship is probably healthy; however when it is only flowing in one direction, or what is going through it is negative, the result is emotional psychological or physical problems. Ending relationships is difficult. It doesn't matter if you were the person who walked away or if someone else left you, a loss is felt either way. It is especially painful if a relationship ends without closure. Unfortunately, often times when people "breakup" what they don't realize is that they may very well still have cords attached. The intact cord keeps an open channel for continuous feeding on each others emotions and anxieties. Some common feelings when a cord needs to be cut can involve: feeling drained after dealing with someone, feeling emotional imbalanced after dealing with that person or thinking of them, not being able to get the person out of your thoughts even when you want to. Cutting cords can be part of the solution.
How To Cut Cords Using EFT - Mandy's Method
This technique came from a course I learned called "Awakening the Light Body". It incorporated EFT with forms of spiritual healing. Working on a psychic site, the primary type of client who came to me for help was often a client who felt distress over a love situation not working out, or not knowing whether one should move on or wait for an ex to come back. EFT can be used on both issues and even for issues that are not relationship related.

In the case of clearing cords over a lost love or relationship, I would clear and connect with source, then clear any negative energies. A script to use as an example for how to use EFT to clear the energy field is here >> . Then to clear cords I just use the same method more indepth. If you know muscle testing you can test percentages to how clear a cord is. If you wish to use a card deck instead of muscle testing for blocks to clearing cords, I have a free online version here>> . A video demonstration I used is below.

The next step would be to tap out the issues and feelings of loss, be they sadness, unworthiness, pain, confusion, loss, abandonment, regret, guilt, unforgiveness, anger or anything else. For "how-to" articles and videos on EFT see here >> .

How To Cut Cords - Lori's Method
A person’s intention when cutting a cord is actually more important than the technique used. Focus your energy and intention on the cord being cut rather than getting the technique “right”. If you are too focused on the technique,  it can take away from the power you have by keeping your intention to cut the cord clear and strong. Having clear intentions will assist you greatly in cutting the cord. Before cutting cords make sure you are relaxed and focused.
To begin, you typically know if you have cords that need to be cut. If you aren’t sure, you can always use a pendulum to make sure you have negative cords; you can even use the pendulum and ask about different body parts to see where the cord is attached. A good place to start is to ask if the cord is attached at a chakra, if you get a yes, go through all the chakras and find out which one are being affected. Once you know you can cut the cords. Some people cut cords from their head to their toes, in front and back just to make sure they have gotten all the cords, this works really well, especially if you are sure of the exact location.
The method I like best is called Ho'oponopono which means to make right, it is part of Huna practices. The reason I like this exercise is because it involves forgiving and letting go of the person emotionally before you cut the cords. Therefore the cord cutting will be more effective and you probably will not reattach the cords.
  1. Think of the person you want to cut cords with
  2. Visualize a stage in front of you. Now imagine that person on the stage
  3. Imagine an infinite source of love and healing flowing from a source above the top of your head (from your Higher Self), and open up the top of your head, and let the source of love and healing flow down inside your body, fill up the body, From your heart cover the person in light (yes this can be a challenge, but you don’t typically want to harm the person).
  4. Now have a discussion with the person and forgive them, and have them forgive you.
  5. Next, let go of the person, and see them floating away. As they do, cut the cord that connects the two of you. You can do this by using a dagger or just your hand moving it straight up and down 3 times and visualize the cords being cut.
  6. Then see if you can think of the person without feeling any negative emotions. If you do feel negative emotions when you do, then do the process again.
Another effective method is to visualize the person in front of you imagine the cords and using your fingers like they are scissors begin cutting the cords, you can also say I release (name of person) and let you go. When you are done, you should feel some clarity in your thoughts, or a sense of being lighter.
Whatever method you use make sure at the end you visualize your end of the cord going back into your body, and then seal it with white light. This will help keep the other person from recording you!

Some Practical Tips When Moving On From A Loss
If you are trying to move on with your life, cutting cords is very helpful, but you made need some other strategies too.

Lori's Tips
  1. Try removing all of the other person’s belongings and things they gifted you from you immediate presence. Try putting it in boxes and leaving the boxes alone for at least three months. Then you can decide if you want to keep anything from the box.
  2. When you think of that person, say delete, and keep saying it until that thought has gone. Repeat as often as you think of them.
Mandy's Tips
  1. I believe people hang on when they interrupt the mourning process or try to shut it down in ways. So definitely FEEL the feelings and allow for at least a week or two of mourning without trying to shut the process down. This should be a time your just feeling the loss of your relationship. Try not to run away from it or to go into hoping for it to return, just focus on dealing with your feelings and use EFT if you wish to tap if it gets too painful.There is a difference between feeling feelings, suppressing them and wallowing. If you find yourself wallowing (going weeks and weeks hurting over someone), its likely your not letting the mourning process complete in a natural way or to feel and process certain other feelings brought up by the break up.
  2. Listen to the signals. If you ex isn't contacting you back with calls or if they are telling you to leave them alone then give them space. Even if you have had ten psychics tell you he wants you back, try not to go into hope too much and allow what enfolds to enfolds respecting your ex's boundaries and again letting the mourning process complete uninterrupted.
  3. Try not to get too many psychic readings. It interrupts the mourning process or a normal flow of events or ask the right questions like how to heal, what to focus on, how to move on, rather than if he will come back, still has feelings for you etc.
  4. Don't forget to have fun. If your starting to go into over two weeks of feeling heartache, then time to do something different to change some energy around and to shift it. Try getting more exercise, going out for walks, changing the furniture around in the house, getting rid of mommentos or whatever you don't need anymore, turn some music on and sing, dance, or whatever feels spontaneous. Some people resist doing this saying they don't feel like it, and it keeps them stuck. After a certain amount of mourning if you continually feel down, you might have to fake it first. The energy is stuck, so do something different from your normal routine to get some different energy going.
  5. Forget the whole "I feel him in my energy" argument. That's not relevant to anything and again blocks the mourning process from resolving itself and keeps a person stuck in focusing on the other person. Yes, you can sometimes pick up others energy, and yes, they may think of you, but there is a difference between the person thinking of you and being able to have a relationship that you want or to want you back. I've seen women hang on for years due to this thinking. Focus on your own energy, feel your own feelings, ask that that persons energy be cleared and then focus on #6.
  6. Visualization is important. The more you visualize wanting your ex back or about the ex in thinking about him, the more you hold that energy as something you want in your life and that includes all its patterns, any unrequited love themes, abuse or anything else. So, when you are separating from someone and aren't sure is it over completely or still want them to come back and change it is still  allowing you to create a space for new energy to come in either with the ex or someone new. I just tell clients to focus on what they want in a partner and not put a face on it, that way you aren't drawing the same energy to fix again but a new energy to you in the same package or a new one...

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